Things That Make My Heart MELT

I knew from the day I was probably about five that I would love to be a mommy. After all, it's really all I have ever REALLY wanted to do. My dream was not to be a movie star, singer, or even the first female president. It was simple...all I wanted was to be a mommy. God fulfilled my dream in March of 2007. Although I have looked forward to the day that I would be called mommy, I never imagined that it would be this GREAT. I'm in no way, shape, or form saying that being a parent is easy, but the pros far outweigh the cons! I just know that despite the type of day I have experienced that the moment I look into Camryn's eyes and see her smile, nothing else in the world matters and my heart is content.

Since the past few days have been a little complaint oriented, I've decided to look at the bright side of things. Of course Camryn inspired me. As we were coloring tonight, which is among my favorite things to do with her, she looked at me and said, "Hol me" (hold me). It was with those two words that my heart filled with grattitude and love. It amazes me that a simple gesture or words from her can melt my heart. Below are some things that I have experienced in life that have made my heart melt. Not all are about Camryn or being a mommy, but I'm sure that will be the majority:)

• The first time Camryn smiled
• I was always afraid that I would miss Cam's first steps and first time crawling b/c I have to work, but she saved her first crawl for me (and it was a day before my birthday). So very special.
• When Brent leaves me sweet little notes, sends texts messages, and unexpected emails just to say, "I love you!" Here's what he sent today...

"you haven't seen one of these in a while have you? I know I have been slack, I wanted to let you know to keep your head up. I know things are getting tough with school and all but remember you are there for a reason. Not everyone can do what you do, and your very good at it. Remember at the beginning of the year when you said you didn't think there was any hope for them? Well I know the other day you told me that you are seeing some improvement in the kids. Keep your head up I will always be there for you. I love you and hope you have a wonderful day."

• I secretly love it when Camryn wants me and no one else.
• When I am leaving Cam at Nana's in the mornings before work and she doesn't want me to go and says, "NO, NO, NO" while shaking her head and hands. It's really cute, but heartrenching at the same time.
• When you tell Cam that she is pretty or that you love her and she replies with an, "I know" with a slight Japanese sounding accent
• When friends like P.Collins send me notes with a butterfinger saying, "I hope you got your work done and have a great day. I love you!" It's things like this that keep me going!
• When I see people accpet Christ and most of all baptisims (I'm gauranteed to cry during these).
• When I had a miscarriage and my first grade friends had their students and mine make cards and posters to tell me they loved me, missed me, and hoped I felt better. I especially loved thier emails, notes, talks, shoulders to cry on, acts of kindness, and dinner. They're the greatest group of women to work with. I love you guys!
• When Cam drops something or messes up and she says, "Oh man!" It's really cute and we had not idea where she got it from until tonight as we're watching Dora and Swiper says it. See TV does teach children!
• When I watch Cam sleep peacefully in her "big girl bed." Most of all, I love it when she is upset and doesn't want to be alone, which means I get to lay with her until she's tuckered out.
• When my students learn something new that they have been struggling to learn. The light in their eyes when they tackle that mountain is priceless.
• When Tristan and Lamarcus come to give me a hug each and every day because they want to. I know that I have touched their lives, but all the glory goes to God.
  
• When I hear Taylor W. sing.
• Weddings (I always cry there too whether I really know the couple or not--kind of embarrassing!)
• When despite how hard I have been on my first grade students, they still come by to hug me before they leave school at the end of the day. It amazes me that they understand that I love them no matter what.
• to see Cam smile
• to hear Brent talk about God and what he's doing in his life and his take on our Bible story for the week. He's an amazing man. How did I get so lucky?
• To see Cam dance
• to hear about God's faithfulness and answered prayer
• to hear Daddy say that I'm still his little girl
• to see my mom finally happy and smiling everytime I see her. I can't remember the last time she has been so happy.
• when I read Brent's old love notes to me from high school and college
• At this point in life one of the things that melts my heart the most is when I hear Cam say her prayers. This is her blessing..."Than you Jesus, bess dis bood, Hamen!" (thank you Jesus. Bless this food, Amen) It's precious...trust me!

My hope is that this will bless someone's heart today. By writing it, it has made me look on the sunny side of life and focus on the things that make me the most happy. Thank you Jesus for paying the price for all my sins so that I can be here and live this life, although it's not always a bed of roses, and experience the many blessings that I do have! I am so thankful, and I just hope that I can bless the people's lives mentioned in this blog as much as they have blessed mine!